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Once upon a time in Lower Gardens

September 17, 2009

Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. It’s Arrested Development. Well, actually no. This is the story of the photo used in GreenStyle’s header.

I was homeless for six weeks and needed a place to stay. “Come stay at mine” says friend Simon, “the missus is away and I could do with the company”. So I packed up my banjo, surfboard and clothes and relocated to what I imagined would be the Bro Palace of mantastic creature comforts: beer, burping and late night predator shows on Animal Planet. And so it was, for a week.

You see, in his generosity, the host had forgotten to mention that he would be renovating extensively and this is why his sly fox of a girlfriend had decided to see out the construction back home in Berlin. Suddenly the inflatable mattress on the cold concrete floor in the poorly lit back room wasn’t looking quite as plush. Construction workers rumbled in at 8am, the earth moved (in a bad way) and soon my “bedroom”, the lounge, kitchen and bathroom was covered in dust and rubble.

Now I’m made of stronger stuff, and was homeless, and had no choice but to persevere. We lost the hot water and flush toilet a week or so later. Now was the time of going number one in the garden and morning walks to the local gym for showers. Hey it only lasted for a couple of weeks and gave me the chance to harden the fuck up.

Anyways, Simon had to paint the front wall when his lovely lady came home and I took that picture. All by myself. True story. No spice.

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